SHORTLAND STREET
TANIA'S RETURN
Tania steps out of the taxi and makes her way to the Clinic doors…she is back from her sunny and restful holiday with her sister Libby in Hawaii. She feels calm, and strong, and ready to deal with the mess she left behind in New Zealand.
“Hi mum, I’m back" Yvonne steps out from behind the reception desk. “Tania! You look so fresh and revived! How was it, how is Libby? Have you got time for a cup of tea?” Tania explains that she just needs to see someone, then she’ll be back and Yvonne can hear all the stories, especially about Libby’s new American boyfriend!
Tania strides confidently down the hospital corridors until she arrives outside Isaac’s office. She takes a deep breath and walks in. Isaac is in a heated conversation with Chris’s new love interest Zoe. Tania apologises for interrupting and turns to exit the office. “Tania Wait! Zoe, can we finish this later?” “We’ve already finished. Good-bye Isaac.” Zoe acknowledges Tania with a gentle “hi”, and leaves. Isaac stands and walks toward Tania with a giant smile. He wraps his arms around her and goes to kiss her. “Don’t” Tania protests. “We need to talk Isaac.” He sits down, inquisitively responding “OK…” Tania begins “I’ve had a lot of time to think in Hawaii. And I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore. We just don’t seem to have the same views on much Isaac, namely money! And I’ve realised how much that really does bother me. It says a lot about who you truly are, and I’m sorry. I just can’t be with someone who has no respect for value, no concept of poverty or hardship.” “Tania please. We’ve..” Tania interrupts him “Don’t Isaac. I’ve made up my mind. I hope we can still be professional at work. And really, I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. I’ll see you later OK?” Isaac spins his Doctor’s chair to face the window, grits his teeth as he says “Fine. Good bye.” Angry with his immaturity, Tania reacts “Perhaps Zoe can console you!” “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, a tone of nervousness in this voice as he spins back to face Tania. “Oh come on Isaac, I’m not stupid. You and Zoe have some sort of ‘thing’ going on and if it’s already clear to me, it won’t be long before her boyfriend Chris, YOUR COUSIN, finds out. Food for thought!” And on that note, she exits the office.
Tania lets out a sigh of relief as she closes the door to Isaac's office. She didn’t want to bring up the Zoe thing, couldn’t be bothered messing with Isaac's business anymore, but it just burst out of her. It’s over now she thinks, and opens the door to the office directly opposite Isaac's office.
“Hey you..” she utters…shy and trying to cover her blatant excitement to see this tall dark and handsome man again. She instantly remembers the feeling when he was comforting her over a patient dispute, and kissed her. “Hey. Your back!” TK rushes toward Tania to give her a welcome home hug “It’s great to see you, how are you?” “I’m really good... now..” “What’s happened?” Is Libby OK?” “Yea, no she’s fine. I just ended things with Isaac.” “Oh!” TK expresses a guilty happiness. “What brought that on?" He smiles. “Well, I had a lot of time to think in Hawaii, and most of that time was spent thinking about you. I’m wondering if maybe..” she pause
s, looks down, fiddles nervously with the tie on her handbag “perhaps I do want to risk our friendship and maybe..” Before she has time to finish her explanation TK has his body pressed right up against her. He lifts her face, and presses his lips against hers. They kiss passionately for a few moments. Then he looks at her and says “I knew that kiss meant more to you as well, and I’m so glad it did. You’re so sexy, and fun and intelligent Tania. I’ve wanted you for a long time.” They fall back into embrace and their lips meet again.
“Sorry TK I know you're busy” TK’s ex-wife Sarah, a fellow Doctor, barges into the office with hasty speech. “OH MY GOD!” TK and Tania look sympathetically at Sarah arguing at the same time “Sarah, wait, it’s not what you think, Sarah, Sarah!” before they finish their pleading she is out the door. TK and Tania look worriedly at each other then burst into fits of laughter. “I feel like a naughty school kid!” claims Tania. "There’s an image I can work with” responds TK.
Back at reception, Yvonne and her co-receptionist Gerald are wondering what is up Isaac's nose as he ignores them and storms through reception with a very upset look on his face. Sarah follows him out looking just as mortified and she too ignores Yvonne and Gerald. “Heavens above!” Gerald exclaims. “What on earth is going on!” he pauses to think. “WAIT. You don’t think Isaac and Sarah are having an affair do you?” “You what?!” Tracey overhears the gossip at reception. Gerald begins “Well! You should have just seen what we saw Tracey, first Isaac comes roaring through here and then..” Yvonne begs “Gerald stop it! We don’t know anything yet.”
“I’m ready for that cuppa now Mum” Tania states, beaming as she arrives at the front desk. She is far happier than normal, and seems to have pash rash round her mouth. Everyone notices and stares wonderingly at Tania.
“What?” She grins.
TANIA'S RETURN
Tania steps out of the taxi and makes her way to the Clinic doors…she is back from her sunny and restful holiday with her sister Libby in Hawaii. She feels calm, and strong, and ready to deal with the mess she left behind in New Zealand. “Hi mum, I’m back" Yvonne steps out from behind the reception desk. “Tania! You look so fresh and revived! How was it, how is Libby? Have you got time for a cup of tea?” Tania explains that she just needs to see someone, then she’ll be back and Yvonne can hear all the stories, especially about Libby’s new American boyfriend!
Tania strides confidently down the hospital corridors until she arrives outside Isaac’s office. She takes a deep breath and walks in. Isaac is in a heated conversation with Chris’s new love interest Zoe. Tania apologises for interrupting and turns to exit the office. “Tania Wait! Zoe, can we finish this later?” “We’ve already finished. Good-bye Isaac.” Zoe acknowledges Tania with a gentle “hi”, and leaves. Isaac stands and walks toward Tania with a giant smile. He wraps his arms around her and goes to kiss her. “Don’t” Tania protests. “We need to talk Isaac.” He sits down, inquisitively responding “OK…” Tania begins “I’ve had a lot of time to think in Hawaii. And I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore. We just don’t seem to have the same views on much Isaac, namely money! And I’ve realised how much that really does bother me. It says a lot about who you truly are, and I’m sorry. I just can’t be with someone who has no respect for value, no concept of poverty or hardship.” “Tania please. We’ve..” Tania interrupts him “Don’t Isaac. I’ve made up my mind. I hope we can still be professional at work. And really, I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. I’ll see you later OK?” Isaac spins his Doctor’s chair to face the window, grits his teeth as he says “Fine. Good bye.” Angry with his immaturity, Tania reacts “Perhaps Zoe can console you!” “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, a tone of nervousness in this voice as he spins back to face Tania. “Oh come on Isaac, I’m not stupid. You and Zoe have some sort of ‘thing’ going on and if it’s already clear to me, it won’t be long before her boyfriend Chris, YOUR COUSIN, finds out. Food for thought!” And on that note, she exits the office.
Tania lets out a sigh of relief as she closes the door to Isaac's office. She didn’t want to bring up the Zoe thing, couldn’t be bothered messing with Isaac's business anymore, but it just burst out of her. It’s over now she thinks, and opens the door to the office directly opposite Isaac's office.
“Hey you..” she utters…shy and trying to cover her blatant excitement to see this tall dark and handsome man again. She instantly remembers the feeling when he was comforting her over a patient dispute, and kissed her. “Hey. Your back!” TK rushes toward Tania to give her a welcome home hug “It’s great to see you, how are you?” “I’m really good... now..” “What’s happened?” Is Libby OK?” “Yea, no she’s fine. I just ended things with Isaac.” “Oh!” TK expresses a guilty happiness. “What brought that on?" He smiles. “Well, I had a lot of time to think in Hawaii, and most of that time was spent thinking about you. I’m wondering if maybe..” she pause
s, looks down, fiddles nervously with the tie on her handbag “perhaps I do want to risk our friendship and maybe..” Before she has time to finish her explanation TK has his body pressed right up against her. He lifts her face, and presses his lips against hers. They kiss passionately for a few moments. Then he looks at her and says “I knew that kiss meant more to you as well, and I’m so glad it did. You’re so sexy, and fun and intelligent Tania. I’ve wanted you for a long time.” They fall back into embrace and their lips meet again.“Sorry TK I know you're busy” TK’s ex-wife Sarah, a fellow Doctor, barges into the office with hasty speech. “OH MY GOD!” TK and Tania look sympathetically at Sarah arguing at the same time “Sarah, wait, it’s not what you think, Sarah, Sarah!” before they finish their pleading she is out the door. TK and Tania look worriedly at each other then burst into fits of laughter. “I feel like a naughty school kid!” claims Tania. "There’s an image I can work with” responds TK.
Back at reception, Yvonne and her co-receptionist Gerald are wondering what is up Isaac's nose as he ignores them and storms through reception with a very upset look on his face. Sarah follows him out looking just as mortified and she too ignores Yvonne and Gerald. “Heavens above!” Gerald exclaims. “What on earth is going on!” he pauses to think. “WAIT. You don’t think Isaac and Sarah are having an affair do you?” “You what?!” Tracey overhears the gossip at reception. Gerald begins “Well! You should have just seen what we saw Tracey, first Isaac comes roaring through here and then..” Yvonne begs “Gerald stop it! We don’t know anything yet.”
“I’m ready for that cuppa now Mum” Tania states, beaming as she arrives at the front desk. She is far happier than normal, and seems to have pash rash round her mouth. Everyone notices and stares wonderingly at Tania.
“What?” She grins.
I can totally see this happening. I think that you've captured the characters really well through the dialogue. I think Lusy commented in your drafts that she liked that you've written the story in present tense, as it seems like the reader is watching the story and I totally agree. The flow of the whole thing is great!
ReplyDeleteI found the bit where they kiss and TK tells her she's sexy and fun and intellegent a bit misplaced in the scene. It just seems a bit odd for the character you've built to say that. I dunno if you get what I'm saying haha.
This is funny... punctuation correcting haha but its "you're" busy instead of "your" in Sarah's line.
I love how it ends. Very witty and it ties the story together perfectly.
I LOVE SHORTY STREET...haha
wow!! I typed a whole comment then my ineternet died! :/
ReplyDelete2nd time round:
I think you have set the scenes very well, even for people that don't follow the series. Without going into a full explanation, you give enough information within the sentences for the reader to place the context and relationships.
I love it where you say 'TK expresses a guilty happiness.' The reader can interpret exactly what he must be thinking and his almost relief at Tania being newly available! Although I must agree with Kirsty's point where TK is complimenting Tania, the scene fell a bit flat for me. Perhaps if you used stronger adjectives? or slightly more description so as to match the rest of your writing?
Also the dialogue all on one line can be a bit disorientating as to who said what especially in the line:
“It’s great to see you, how are you?” “I’m really good... now..” “What’s happened?” Is Libby OK?” “Yea, no she’s fine. I just ended things with Isaac.” “Oh!”
Perhaps if you used the 'new speaker, new line' rule it would be abit easier on the eye?
Otherwise, as a non Shortland St watcher (Sorry Kirsty) I have to say I really enjoyed it! It is very amusing and I can picture it as being apart of the soap/series (is it a soap or a series?).
You also summed it up very comically at the end.
Well done!
It's a soap..its been running for 15ish yearas now i think..your not missing anything!
ReplyDeleteI reallly REALLY enjoyed reading this jen! I agree with lucys earlier comment about it being read in the present tense in the 3rd person, it just makes it so much easier to understand
btw "pash rash" LMAO! hilarious, very funny. You have a great comedy writing style!
OMG, yeah i was reading that part too "pash rash" wow.. i haven't heard that for soo long! well done. I use to follow Shortland street, then suddenly everything got a bit to hyper and rushed.
ReplyDelete